Friday, July 17, 2015

Here comes the baggage!

Everyone has emotional baggage that we bring to every relationship. Some people's baggage is right out for everyone to see while others you really have to look for. Being in a relationship is all about learning, understanding and accepting that person's baggage. In most second or third marriages there is some sort of baggage and it is important to bring that up with your significant other. 

The divorce rate in the United States has been up and down for years with more and more reasons for divorce added to the list with every passing year. At first, divorce was only legal in the United States for one of three reasons, adultery, abuse or alcohol abuse. Now, there doesn't even have to be a reason! Well, here is my little two sense on it. A marriage is between a man, a woman and God. Let me rephrase that, a successful marriage is between a man, a woman and God. Most marriages can work if those three things are in it. Statistics show that most people can fix a marriage if they stick it out for another 2-5 years. Every marriage has their rough patches, but as long as the Lord is with your marriage they will come and go.


"To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day as you deal with challenges which inevitably come with parenthood. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them."
- President Thomas S. Monson

Our teacher shared this quote with the class and it really got me thinking. One day I will have kids of my own and I will be in charge of teaching, supporting, caring for and loving these children. My only worrying thought is, "How am I supposed to teach these children? What do I know?". I am not perfect. I most certainly don't know everything there is to know. What I do know, though, is that the Lord is perfect. He does know everything and He is the ultimate one to turn to in times of need. What better person to turn to than the father of millions and millions of children?

The thought of being a parent can be overwhelming and there are times where the thought of having children is more than terrifying to me. One thing I can always rely on is the fact that with God, I can do anything. Not only will I have God, but I will have a loving husband to learn with me, love me, help me and draw us closer to God. What better thing can there be?

Continuing education after children...

I am not the least bit ashamed to tell people that I plan on being a stay at home mom when I get married. Most people hear that and question why I am even getting an education if that is what I plan on doing. Well, newsflash people! You can still be a mom and do something with your education. I do plan on not working when I have children, but that doesn't mean that I am not planning on working after they are gone or when they are all older and in school. My goal has been to find something that I can receive an education in and still have time to be there for my children, whether its running a small business on the side or having a backup plan if anything were to happen to my husband. 

For an assignment we were asked to read an article about how a mom keeps up her educational enlightenment even though she is a full time mother. There are so many resources out there from listening to podcasts, reading magazines, taking a class or seminar, joining book clubs and so much more for moms who are looking to continue to educate themselves. I also am trying to learn as much as I can because I want to be able to pass it onto my children when they are younger. There is so much that a mother can teach their children and it is even argued that we could be the biggest educational impact they will have. 

Communication is KEY

This week we have been talking about communication. Having good and wholesome communication is (what I think) THE most important thing in a relationship. You can be the happiest, most beautiful couple in the whole universe, but it won't last long without proper communication. I have learned from my own experiences that sharing feelings (though awkward for some people) can prove very rewarding in a relationship. It not only gets you and your significant other on the same page, but it can relieve a lot of stress. BE HONEST. Nothing ever good comes from lying to your significant other.

Now you can share your feelings all you want, but if you aren't listening to your significant other's feelings than that can be an issue. We talked in class about how we can give off hints to people here or there sometimes without even knowing it. This is known as the "Symbolic Interactions" theory. Everyone does it. However, not everyone knows how to understand when they are being "told" something. It is so very important to be aware of those feelings and hints and to take them into consideration. Nothing is worse than trying to tell someone how you feel or actually coming out and telling them, just to be ignored or disrespected.  So if you take anything from this post remember to share, be honest, and listen. 

Stress in the family...yikes!

I have been very privileged to grow up in a family that didn't experience a lot of stress. I mean, we definitely had those "everyone wants to strangle everyone" road trips and the occasional "this family night is going to be fun, dangit!" family nights where nobody wanted to be there. But when it comes to real traumatic overwhelming stress, I am at a loss. I am totally okay with that though. I can, however, think of times where we have had deep meaningful discussions, times where we have cried together, laughed off stress together and gotten through the normal day to day trials. When my sister left on her mission, it was hard on our family. It was the first time we had cried in front of each other and had really expressed our inner feelings. Ever since then, it is something we have always done.

I think it is very important to have those moments with your family. When faced with trials, we should always turn to our family first. They are the ones who God had put with us for moments like that. In class this week, I have seen how important that family unit is not only during stressful times, but in the eyes of God. Sometimes the most powerful and life changing  moments can come from within the walls of our own homes. It is important to remember that and to look to your family for guidance, happiness, love and relief because that is what they are there for.