Sunday, June 7, 2015

Preparing for Marriage

“Be friends first and sweethearts second. Lowell Bennion once said that relationships between young men and young women should be built like a pyramid. The base of the pyramid is friendship. And the ascending layers are built of things like time, understanding, respect, and restraint. Right at the top of the pyramid is a glittering little mystery called romance. And when weary travelers in the desert see that glitter on top of the pyramid from far off, they don’t see what underlies the jewel to give it such prominence and hold it so high”
-Bruce C. Hafen


I love this quote because of its plain truth and the beautiful image it leaves in my mind. Love is a hard thing and it gets even harder when you are trying to find someone to spend eternity with. As we have talked about the importance of preparing for marriage I have seen how the suggestions and guidelines our church has put out regarding marriage play into a successful and eternal marriage.

In our church we are told at the age of 16 to date only in groups, not steady. I was always confused (and slightly against) this suggestion because I was under the impression that I was mature enough to be in a steady relationship at that age. So I went ahead and had my first steady boyfriend at the age of 17. It was great with him and fun, but months in I began to wonder what the point was. I certainly wasn't going to marry him. So eventually we broke up, I had my first heartbreak and I didn't steady date anyone until my first semester of college.


Looking back now, I can clearly see the reasoning behind the standards we have in our church. We are told the steps to marriage are dating, courting (steady dating), engagement and then marriage. It is so important to have those steps leading up into marriage because it not only defines what the goals are with the couple, but it can help them keep their priorities straight. 

With each step we learn more about the other person, begin to discuss the different responsibilities and in return grow closer together. Through reading through different research in my class, it has been scientifically proven that these steps are the way to a successful marriage. It has brought to light the importance of following the ways of the Lord and the gospel because He always has a plan and knows what is best for us.


Because of following these steps in my relationship, my significant other is my best friend. We know so much about each other and look forward to the things we can learn about each other as we take on these next steps in our relationship.





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